The Nightmare Before Christmas

It's a big deal to the freaking universe that we celebrate Christmas

…starting in September & ending in January. 

Or Hanukkah…

or the "festive season"…

whatever.

Not to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Christmas. I love the whole shee-bang. Ya know, christmas lights, the guy-friend me putting up the tree & decorating it (while trying to keep my 4 year old Autistic boy from breaking any part of it by meticulously placing/balancing his ginormous bus on some branches, festive music & movies, the food (that I have to cook & clean the dishes after), & let's not forget the packing…oh-so-much packing, rearranging to fit the new toys, & cleaning after it's all over. You might as well throw in the two hour Christmas picture sesh where, again, my the 4 year old boy I have exhibits his "bad parenting behaviors" (a.k.a. Autism, but let's not get started on the Autistic Mama Bear story) & call it a day.

But I still do it…every year, like clock-work. Why? For my kids' sake. They love the lights on the tree and looking at all the fun presents that drove Mama crazy in the satanic process known as wrapping. So I do it for them. I don't, however, start until AFTER all of the other holidays have had their time to shine…INCLUDING Thanksgiving. Does this make me a Scrooge? Eh….maybe. Honestly, my favorite holiday is Halloween. Coincidentally, runner's up is Thanksgiving because let's face it…FOOD. 

Food=leftovers=food that I can live a good week off of, if not more. 

Christmas is currently tied for my fourth fave, behind New Year's Eve & equal with St. Patrick's Day. Being that St. Patrick's Day weekend '15 is already promising to be brutal & wonderful at the same time (Half Marathon in the works…more details later), Christmas could be knocked down to 5th place.

This year has turned out to be even more demanding than the rest, being that the chil'ren & I recently moved into a new "castle" (Taterbug language). My now 3 year old daughter wanted a little tree for her room since the big tree was Bubba's, of course. So she got it, like usual. (I snagged a colored-prelit one from Target for only $13.50. It was originally $27, but I just happened to notice the "50% off display trees" sign & the one I wanted just happened to still be there. Mama-1, Expensive-ass price for little tree-0.)

That night, we I put up the colored-prelit big (Bubba's) Christmas tree in front of the livingroom window after I got my son's Diddy to help me rearrange my living room furniture. Christmas decorating rule 101- the tree MUST go in front of a window, no matter how much furniture you have to struggle rearranging. It's just the way of the universe…

…the kids did help & even Bubba got into putting the balls on the tree (even though most of them were ones that didn't have string strung through them yet, but it was the thought that counted…right?). (Fyi, if you have small chil'ren or children on the Spectrum I suggest investing in shatterproof balls AND using string instead of metal hooks. You seriously can't even tell the difference if you get a good kind & it saves you a trip to the hospital. I got mine on clearance at Target after Christmas last year, like I usually do with all my holiday decor. )

The end result took some time, but I'm fairly pleased with it. The only other thing I might invest in is some ribbon or tinsel for next year. My Diddy isn't big on tinsel or anything like that, but he doesn't do the decorating so…I'll win out next year.

P.S. I even managed to put extra effort into it by putting on our favorite Christmas movie "The Nightmare before Christmas" & singing along with it during the whole process. See, I can have the Christmas spirit….right?

Afterwards, I took all of the old decorations I had left over from the old "castle" & put them up on the mantle. I just put my pictures in a cabinet for now. What did I learn from this process? Well, my kids & I have accumulated enough Christmas stuffed animals to have an official "collection" now. Also, I love nutcrackers. I currently have three (that are my favorite) & I saw some more in Target (can you tell what my favorite store is by now?) that I am PRAYING will still be there after Christmas so I can get a few deeply discounted.

Rudolph & his gf #NotEvenHalfOfMyMantle

It was kind've getting late, so sadly Tater's tree wasn't put up 'til the next day. Since it was a display, I thankfully didn't have to hassle with taking it out of a box & putting it together. Insta-tree, wa-lah. Four feet of pretty mini-tree for the Tater. Taterbug decorated it & obsessed over how pretty it was for all of two minutes, then ran off to play with her Bubba… o_O

Putting the star on her tree. #PostcardMaterial

Taterbug also informed us last night on the way back from eating out that her "castle" needs lights put on it…'cause she said so, that's why.

The illumination of mi casa is currently a work-in-progress. Apparently my older sister had a ba-jillion in a tote that she permanently stored in my Diddy's basement like 5+ years when she left her old house. She's since then gotten a ba-jillion new lights for their house. So, I get the hand-me-downs…which I'm totes okay with. #TooBrokeToBuyXmasLights

My Diddy got a sudden urge to start going through them & checking them last night, so I was recruited to go out in the too-cold-for-me temperatures & untangle/check lights. I have a hunch that the two Margaritas Diddy had when we were eating contributed to this sudden urge of his, being as he has never put up lights ever in the 10+ years I've lived with him & he specifically stated he doesn't hang up lights. Also, he started realizing it was freaking cold outside & postponed the whole thing off until today because his hands were freezing. Thank beejeezus, since I no longer could feel my toes. 

• Taterbug, however, will have lights…& a bike, if she ever decides to make up her lovely little ADD mind on which one she wants.
• There will be presents, wrapped, under the tree.
• The stockings are hung.
• There will be cookies & milk that Santa really shouldn't eat…but she he will AND he will enjoy it more than she he should.
• We will go to my two families dinners…along with my son's father's family's dinner…& my daughter's father's family's dinner if her father doesn't come into town. If he does, I'll do as I do every year…pray that the time goes by quickly.
• I'll still despise most Christmas music & associated Christmas-y things, but my best friend will continue to bombard me with any & everything Christmas-related.
• I'll also secretly hum or sing said songs throughout the day until Christmas is over.
• I'll take advantage of the wonderful thing called a Winter Wonderland (basically a white mocha with peppermint) at Joe Beans (coffee place) while it lasts.
• Charlie Brown's Christmas will be DVR'ed this Wednesday so my kids can FINALLY watch it & stop crying about it every time the commercial goes off.
• No matter how much my kids wish for a Elf on the Shelf in the future, I won't succumb to peer pressure. They are just toOo freaking creepy. Period.
• I will still hate hard on people who put up trees &/or lights before Thanksgiving.
• …And look at the bright side, FOOD.

I might not be the biggest Christmas fan (ironically, my best friend is), but I firmly believe in tradition, family, & friends…so Christmas seems to catch a break from me during the *correct* festive season because it happens to be made up of those three things 'round here.

Sincerely,

Sissy, the Sparkly Crack Whore