In-DEBT'ed to You

So before we discuss a serious topic, let's talk about this adorable face I see almost every day of my life... #PartnerInCrime #MamasSidekick

My beanie she stole this A.M.

I have no problem admitting she rocks it way better than I do; however, I don't know whether I am jealous of this fact or just completely stunned by the level of her "adorable" going on. Like I realized I'd have adorable offspring, but day-um…she's just on a whole different level of cuteness.

#OOTD from The Pink Lily Boutique,
my new personal addiction favorite store.

Now that I've shared my "Mommy Moment of the Day", let's discuss a topic that I feel is crucial in planning this whole new direction change I'm looking for. That topic would be monies. Lol. Well, not exactly. More specifically I would like to have an adult conversation ramble on about debt. Yes, the D-word. *runs & hides under the bed* Don't worry, this won't be so excruciating…only because I don't really want to discuss/think about it more than necessary. *climbs out from under the bed & dusts the dust bunnies off* Why? Because it's a very sore topic for me at the moment.

Currently, I believe I have accumulated around the amount of $55,000-$60,000 in debt so far. *insert ballin' sad emoji here*

Let's be clear. This amount DOESN'T include my house (which was a current purchase). That's a whole 'nother story in itself. Another point one should take into account is that I didn't do the smart thing in college. Instead of finishing in four years, I finished in seven…in between two breaks that I took away from school for my two pregnancies. Instead of doing work study, I did nothing but be a lazy college student. Instead of passing all courses the first time, I slacked & had to retake a good number of them. I switched majors halfway through, in which hardly any of my credits from the old transferred to the new. Instead of working towards paying them off while in school, I just kept putting it off 'til the end. My suggestion to every person considering college…don't do me. Do the opposite of me. Because of all of the "me", I now have somewhere around $50,000 in student loans alone. Yeah, it's crap but I did it to myself. Next time around, I'll aim for better choices in life.

The other 5 to 10 thousand I would say is for my "other" category: monthly living expenses, people I owe, credit cards, etc. The "wonderful" thing about having $50,000 in school loans (that you had to start paying back early because you took two breaks for pregnancies) is that you kinda get this "amazing jumpstart in credit" button, so credit cards are easy to come my. My first one: Lowe's. Weird, huh?

Confession #1: I LOVE Lowe's…like it gets a minimum of 2 visits a month from me. More than that in the Summer.

From there, it snowballed. I have more credit cards than I have space in my wallet for now. I couldn't resist the percentage off that you get every time you use them. That was the hook for me. In my defense, I don't use half of them & haven't for a VERY LONG time. I also pay on them regularly & on time. I just never get them all the way paid off. I get so very VERY close & then bam….birthday kid #1, birthday kid #2, & Christmas. Ugh. Another reason I'm not a strong Christmas supporter. I want to cancel some of the older ones & cut them up, but my sister told me canceling them actually hurts your credit. The glitch with that is my O.C.D. & paranoia kicks in & doesn't want to cut up a card but still have an account open because what if someone randomly gets/uses your information for fraud…the struggle is real. Any expert suggestions on this?

Want to hear the irony in all of this? I, currently looking for a job after being a full-time student & mother for 7 years, have better credit than both my Diddy & my son's Diddy, who have both been employed steadily for years. My son's Diddy used me as a cosigner on his truck in order to get the payments lowered. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry now.

BUT…here's the game plan. I hire a finance manager. I wish. There was this guy named Charles that I did my Senior Internship with. He was a financial guru. He was following the Dave Ramsey's model & pretty much was going to have EVERYTHING in his life paid off by July of this year. I was so envious. He had a good head for managing finances though & worked super hard managing a full-time manager's position & a full-time school load. Basically, he was in beast mode always. I need to con him into being my financial advisor. I'll probably just end up reading this book by Dave Ramsey he recommended to me…well, eventually. Add it to the list under that Blogging For Dummies book we discussed earlier.

Basically though, I'm starting with the cards. I'm hoping to have ALL BUT ONE of them paid off by May 2015. That one will be either paid off or just a reoccurring lower glance (I use it for only for my gas on the regular). I think I can manage to do it by then. Afterwards, anything extra I get goes directly towards the PRINCIPAL BALANCE of my student loans.

Anyone have any OTHER suggestions for eliminating debt?

The Nightmare Before Christmas

It's a big deal to the freaking universe that we celebrate Christmas

…starting in September & ending in January. 

Or Hanukkah…

or the "festive season"…

whatever.

Not to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Christmas. I love the whole shee-bang. Ya know, christmas lights, the guy-friend me putting up the tree & decorating it (while trying to keep my 4 year old Autistic boy from breaking any part of it by meticulously placing/balancing his ginormous bus on some branches, festive music & movies, the food (that I have to cook & clean the dishes after), & let's not forget the packing…oh-so-much packing, rearranging to fit the new toys, & cleaning after it's all over. You might as well throw in the two hour Christmas picture sesh where, again, my the 4 year old boy I have exhibits his "bad parenting behaviors" (a.k.a. Autism, but let's not get started on the Autistic Mama Bear story) & call it a day.

But I still do it…every year, like clock-work. Why? For my kids' sake. They love the lights on the tree and looking at all the fun presents that drove Mama crazy in the satanic process known as wrapping. So I do it for them. I don't, however, start until AFTER all of the other holidays have had their time to shine…INCLUDING Thanksgiving. Does this make me a Scrooge? Eh….maybe. Honestly, my favorite holiday is Halloween. Coincidentally, runner's up is Thanksgiving because let's face it…FOOD. 

Food=leftovers=food that I can live a good week off of, if not more. 

Christmas is currently tied for my fourth fave, behind New Year's Eve & equal with St. Patrick's Day. Being that St. Patrick's Day weekend '15 is already promising to be brutal & wonderful at the same time (Half Marathon in the works…more details later), Christmas could be knocked down to 5th place.

This year has turned out to be even more demanding than the rest, being that the chil'ren & I recently moved into a new "castle" (Taterbug language). My now 3 year old daughter wanted a little tree for her room since the big tree was Bubba's, of course. So she got it, like usual. (I snagged a colored-prelit one from Target for only $13.50. It was originally $27, but I just happened to notice the "50% off display trees" sign & the one I wanted just happened to still be there. Mama-1, Expensive-ass price for little tree-0.)

That night, we I put up the colored-prelit big (Bubba's) Christmas tree in front of the livingroom window after I got my son's Diddy to help me rearrange my living room furniture. Christmas decorating rule 101- the tree MUST go in front of a window, no matter how much furniture you have to struggle rearranging. It's just the way of the universe…

…the kids did help & even Bubba got into putting the balls on the tree (even though most of them were ones that didn't have string strung through them yet, but it was the thought that counted…right?). (Fyi, if you have small chil'ren or children on the Spectrum I suggest investing in shatterproof balls AND using string instead of metal hooks. You seriously can't even tell the difference if you get a good kind & it saves you a trip to the hospital. I got mine on clearance at Target after Christmas last year, like I usually do with all my holiday decor. )

The end result took some time, but I'm fairly pleased with it. The only other thing I might invest in is some ribbon or tinsel for next year. My Diddy isn't big on tinsel or anything like that, but he doesn't do the decorating so…I'll win out next year.

P.S. I even managed to put extra effort into it by putting on our favorite Christmas movie "The Nightmare before Christmas" & singing along with it during the whole process. See, I can have the Christmas spirit….right?

Afterwards, I took all of the old decorations I had left over from the old "castle" & put them up on the mantle. I just put my pictures in a cabinet for now. What did I learn from this process? Well, my kids & I have accumulated enough Christmas stuffed animals to have an official "collection" now. Also, I love nutcrackers. I currently have three (that are my favorite) & I saw some more in Target (can you tell what my favorite store is by now?) that I am PRAYING will still be there after Christmas so I can get a few deeply discounted.

Rudolph & his gf #NotEvenHalfOfMyMantle

It was kind've getting late, so sadly Tater's tree wasn't put up 'til the next day. Since it was a display, I thankfully didn't have to hassle with taking it out of a box & putting it together. Insta-tree, wa-lah. Four feet of pretty mini-tree for the Tater. Taterbug decorated it & obsessed over how pretty it was for all of two minutes, then ran off to play with her Bubba… o_O

Putting the star on her tree. #PostcardMaterial

Taterbug also informed us last night on the way back from eating out that her "castle" needs lights put on it…'cause she said so, that's why.

The illumination of mi casa is currently a work-in-progress. Apparently my older sister had a ba-jillion in a tote that she permanently stored in my Diddy's basement like 5+ years when she left her old house. She's since then gotten a ba-jillion new lights for their house. So, I get the hand-me-downs…which I'm totes okay with. #TooBrokeToBuyXmasLights

My Diddy got a sudden urge to start going through them & checking them last night, so I was recruited to go out in the too-cold-for-me temperatures & untangle/check lights. I have a hunch that the two Margaritas Diddy had when we were eating contributed to this sudden urge of his, being as he has never put up lights ever in the 10+ years I've lived with him & he specifically stated he doesn't hang up lights. Also, he started realizing it was freaking cold outside & postponed the whole thing off until today because his hands were freezing. Thank beejeezus, since I no longer could feel my toes. 

• Taterbug, however, will have lights…& a bike, if she ever decides to make up her lovely little ADD mind on which one she wants.
• There will be presents, wrapped, under the tree.
• The stockings are hung.
• There will be cookies & milk that Santa really shouldn't eat…but she he will AND he will enjoy it more than she he should.
• We will go to my two families dinners…along with my son's father's family's dinner…& my daughter's father's family's dinner if her father doesn't come into town. If he does, I'll do as I do every year…pray that the time goes by quickly.
• I'll still despise most Christmas music & associated Christmas-y things, but my best friend will continue to bombard me with any & everything Christmas-related.
• I'll also secretly hum or sing said songs throughout the day until Christmas is over.
• I'll take advantage of the wonderful thing called a Winter Wonderland (basically a white mocha with peppermint) at Joe Beans (coffee place) while it lasts.
• Charlie Brown's Christmas will be DVR'ed this Wednesday so my kids can FINALLY watch it & stop crying about it every time the commercial goes off.
• No matter how much my kids wish for a Elf on the Shelf in the future, I won't succumb to peer pressure. They are just toOo freaking creepy. Period.
• I will still hate hard on people who put up trees &/or lights before Thanksgiving.
• …And look at the bright side, FOOD.

I might not be the biggest Christmas fan (ironically, my best friend is), but I firmly believe in tradition, family, & friends…so Christmas seems to catch a break from me during the *correct* festive season because it happens to be made up of those three things 'round here.

Sincerely,

Sissy, the Sparkly Crack Whore

A Turtle Walking Through Peanut Butter

There is no easy way of describing how slow I am other than this: a-turtle-walking-through-peanut-butter-kinda-slow. This is generally speaking of most everything. I'm slow at writing (as mentioned in the previous post). I believe this is strongly due to the fact that I am left-handed. I'm slow at running. I mean, don't get me wrong. I can run AND I can outrun some people…like if there was a race with 4010 people, I would place 3468. (This actually happened in a half marathon that I ran during the Spring…that I didn't prepare whatsoever for. I died, but that's a different story for another time.) I'm slow when it comes to anything art-related, including: drawing, crafting, and especially painting. Funny thing is these are, or should I say used to be, my hobbies I indulged myself in the most. I STILL have yet to finish a painting I started in my high school art class.

It's a water mill & a pond with a large tree on the right edge.
Well, it will be...eventually.

I graduated in 2007. You do the math.

Point is, it takes me a hot minute hour and a half (at minimum) to either get things done or get with the drift. I mean, even the whole "love life" thing is a work-in-progress as far as "drift catching" goes & that's been 25 year & counting. You'd think I'd have it down by now. BUT. I digress…

The point here is basically to give you a heads up. I'M SLOW. So if my shit is nowhere near as "put together" as others, I'm sorry. One of the major things I'm slow with is technology. I got some of it down pat, but blogging is not included in that "some". This is brand spankin' new to me. I was reading a few other peoples' blogs on a regular basis & decided to give it a go. Do I know how to add all the gizmos, gadgets, & whatchya-ma-call-its? Nope, no clue. It's a learning experience, so bear with me. I wonder if there is a "Blogging for Dummies" book I could invest in. Hmm….let's goole it.

...

What do you know, they have a crapload of different kinds of "Blogging for Dummies". They even specifically have "Google Blogger for Dummies".

Anywho, I just wanted to make all who read this aware. Speaking of being aware, is it appropriate for me to show off the t.v. stand I spent over FIVE hours of my life (that I will never get back) putting together? Of course it is, it's my blog. I make the rules here. *insert booming voice*

#AnythingMenCanDoICanDoBetter #NeverAgain

And You Are…?

Hi…I'm Billie Jean. No, I was not named after the Michael Jackson song…or Billie Jean King. Yes, I get BOTH all the time. *insert eye roll here* Now that we've moved past the formalities of that, I'm technically B.J. Been going by my initials my whole life & they have seemed to be treating me well thus far. I'm old enough to know better, & young enough not to care to care much more than most people my age these days. I worry all the time, like panic attacks & my nerves actually making me get ill kind of worry. Those are the more extreme cases though. Most of the time, I just worry about the important thing to me: FAMILY. Usually any stress I have has to do with that category. Love 'em to death…well, most of 'em. My family is…complicated…to say the least. I'm sure you'll get a glimpse of more as time goes by though.

I JUST finished college with my Bachelor's degree in Social Work (only took 7 years for a 4 year program, but who's counting)…yes, I'm one of those " I want to help make a difference"people. There will probably be a few posts for my love of Social Work. Sue me. Currently, I'm a stay at home Mama of two, but hopefully it will change soon 'cause Mama needs to pay the bills. My Diddy (God bless him) is helping me out until I get on my feet, but he can only do so much. Those $45,000 in school loans (along with a house payment, light bill, phone, etc.) aren't going to pay themselves. P.S. Just for the record, I switched majors mid-way AND got pregnant…twice…during college. Not wise moves if you don't want to be paying back a small house's worth of student loan for the rest of your ever-given life.

I'm a lover of many things…like legitly, I like a ton of things. My love is random & eclectic. I love almost every genre of music…even a song or two out of the genres I typically don't care for. I have an addiction to shoes…especially boots (Yes, the "White-Girl-I-Can't-Even-Wear-Them-With-Leggings" kind). I love owls, skulls, rustic home furnishings, brights colors, Fall decor, real camouflage, reading books, coffee, antiques, old-timey things, etc. Yes, this list could go on forever. For the record, it probably will on a separate page on my blog. Be forewarned.

I live in the middle of nowhere important, U.S.A. LITERALLY. I live in the middle of nowhere & most of my friends (even the ones who I grew up with & live in surrounding areas) say I live in the middle of nowhere because it's classified by "too far to drive out in order to visit you the sticks". I will tell you this: I'm a Virginian. Always have been & there's a good chance I always will be. I lived in Pennsylvania for all of like one year tops when I was thirteen-ish…& I can't tell you a thing about that entire year except it was cold, there was a lot of snow, I'm pretty sure it was some alternate universe, & I was miserable. Apparently my brain blocked everything from that year out of my memory because I was traumatized by above mentioned things I could remember. I legitly have PTSD every time I visit my sister who lives there. Now I live in a small poe-dunk town that you can drive through without even knowing it. We have all of one post-office, a gas station, a fire department, & a Family Dollar (built all of a year ago & I'm still trying to get over my negative feelings for it ruining our charming country feel). Not even one stop light. I grew up & graduated in the neighboring small town.
That one only had one stop light in it when I was growing up.

The "original" stoplight that I grew up with during childhood.

Since then, it has increased to three. Impressive, right? I know, just contain your excitement. The largest city location my town has near it is Liberty City Lynchburg, home of nothing but Liberty, Liberty-owned properties, & properties that Liberty hasn't gotten ahold of yet. Keyword: YET. Add a few 30 or so hotels & cram a crap-load of restaurants and department stores all on one road &…BAM!!! You have Lynchburg.

So now that you have a glimpse of who I am, the big question here is WHY?

Well, because I need a new direction with my life in more ways than one. I'm at that point where someone wonders, " Is this it? Is this really all you're ever going to amount to?"I mean, I'm not going to lie. I have a pretty good life so far & I've been blessed with a lot that most people could only dream of…but I'm also not happy where I am. Trust me, it's not JUST one of those philosophical thoughts that you get when you are trying to find the next step in life or even the ones that you get when 40 year olds go through the "mid-life crisis" & buy Harleys & junk like that. I'm not happy with a large majority of stuff in my life. I feel like I'm just going through the motions at this point in what I need to do just to get by & it's seriously disappointing. Of course there are more reasons how I got here other than I just woke up one day here, but I figured out I need to start somewhere so…here I am. I intend on doing a lot of things different from here on & I figured I'd put it into a blog. Don't get me wrong. This, by no means, is going to be used for just whining & not actually DOING something to change these things. Personally, it's just a record to show me where I was, the progress made thus far, and where I'm going. I am aware they have journals for this kind of crap…but I'm the dictionary definition of left-handed with all the stereotypes added on: I'm a slow writer, even slower reader, I like my things neat, and smeared ink/lead (especially on my hand) irritates the crap out of me. Another positive about this is I have feedback. You don't get that from a bunch of blank pages in a book…unless your Diddy reads them. Yet another traumatizing experience from my early teenage years that haunts me with PTSD every time I write something personal on a piece of paper, thank you very much. Not repeating that again. *cringes*

So here's to me, full-on. Granted there will be a few directions I plan on taking this blog in…& some I will consider strictly off-limits & won't even acknowledge if asked. Regardless, I hope this blog helps all who reads it. Most importantly, I hope it helps me. I hope I get what I want from it; what I'm looking for. I need to get back that "living that" I lost. There was a video I recently watched that was very enlightening on this. I was randomly searching the internet for something important scrolling through Facebook bored out of my mind when I came across it. If I ever find it again, I'll be sure to share it. It talked about living, especially living for what you want to live for…your dreams. At the end it says, " They say that the average person dies at 25, but they are buried at 75." That's the feeling I have some days…the "going through the motions". That's what I wanna reverse. Welcome to my semi-charmed kinda something…while I try to figure out the world & where my "living" fits into it.